I breastfed both my kids far longer than I originally intended.

With E, my firstborn, He was a few days shy of his second birthday.  I had to abruptly wean because I underwent chemotherapy and the meds are not going to be good for him.  Since he was almost 2 anyway, I decided that maybe it’s time for us to stop with the nursing.  Anyway, since I had to be confined in the hospital for a surgery and will be gone for 5 days, perhaps he won’t be looking for my breasts when I got home again.

I was wrong.  It was such a traumatic experience for both of us since neither of us was ready to stop at that point.  E was so happy when I finally got home and couldn’t understand why my breasts were suddenly off limits to him.  I knew that more than the nutrition E was getting from my milk, it was the emotional closeness that he was after.  It was his source of comfort and security and maybe a symbol of love.  It broke my heart, but he definitely can’t nurse because of the drugs in my system.  I didn’t want to repeat that experience!

Now I am still breastfeeding R, and she’s now 2 years and 5 months old!  I do not see any desire for her to stop our breastfeeding relationship.  And since she may well be my youngest child, I am hoping for child led weaning this time around.

Photo: “breastfeeding the little crazy alien” by , c/o Flickr. Some Rights ReservedXX

I did not expect that I would be having such a long breastfeeding relationship with my kids, but I’m glad I did.

What I was able to do was nothing as spectacular as what other moms think.  These are the things I kept in mind while I was breastfeeding and which made me keep at it for as long as possible:

• Take it one day at a time.  Goals are more easily met when divided into small chunks.  My first goal was to simply master breastfeeding.  Then after we went through all the aches and pains and fumbles, it became easier.  1 month became 2 months, then time flew after that and soon we were passing the 6 month and the 1 year mark.  Now I’ve passed the 2 year mark!
• Don’t be affected by the negative comments of people who do not believe in breastfeeding.  Believe in your choice!  You made a decision that had your child’s best interest at heart.
• Enjoy the breastfeeding moments.  Once it ends, there’s no going back to it with the same child.
• This is a gift that you and only you can give, and only at this time in your child’s life.  Let your child cherish it for as long as possible.  And you should cherish this bonding while this lasts.  Your child is not going to stay little and dependent forever!
• When the difficulties strike (pain, biting etc) think “this too shall pass”.  And it does!

I will definitely miss breastfeeding when my little R weans, but I’ll always cherish the precious moments that I have shared with both my kids.

To prepare for our grand alumni homecoming, the batch core group organized a party-cum-planning session under the guise of J.O.’s birthday celebration.  It was a hit as 70 batchmates came.  Guess we were all excited about seeing each other after all those years.

What has happened to our former batchmates?  Well, I’d say we’ve gone a long way since we left SJCS.  Aside from the physical changes like the need for reading glasses and the increased girth some of us now have, it’s gratifying to see that many of us have become successes in our own right, whether in our chosen fields and / or in raising kids who we hope would grow up with the same values that we learned, grew up with, and apply in our own lives.

It’s surprising to see that while there are many changes that maturity (!) has brought about, many things still stay the same.  13 years is a huge chunk out of anybody’s life, and the influence of the institution and the “comrades” in those formative years are sure to make a mark somehow.   The beauties and hunks are still as beautiful and handsome as I remembered them.  The leaders still have that commanding presence and the shy ones like me are still quite shy.

I loved the Human Bingo game, as it “forced” me to make an effort to seek out my former classmates and ask about what they are up to now.  So even if I wasn’t able to complete the form, I was able to know my former classmates just a bit better.

I really enjoyed going to this party.  I am confident that next year’s Grand Homecoming would be a success.  Go Invictus 1987!

Photo: “Unfinished Work” by Bing Ramos, c/o Flickr. Some Rights Reserved

The second most important factor in my breastfeeding success story is having a supportive husband.

It’s the hubby who’s my partner and my “shield” when other people question my decision to breastfeed.  And convincing him that I wanted to breastfeed is probably the smartest thing I did to ensure that I WILL BREASTFEED MY KIDS!

I already knew that I wanted to breastfeed from the very start.  I was fortunate enough that the pediatrician we chose happened to be a breastfeeding advocate.

But my breastfeeding advocate pedia, which being a great help, couldn’t be with me 24/7.

It was pretty easy letting my husband understand why I wanted to breastfeed. He knew from the start that it was the best way to nourish our child.  All I needed to inform him about was my decision to breastfeed and he supported me, all the way!  And then communicated OUR decision to anyone and everyone else!

I read all I can about it.  And told him everything I’ve read about.  And he listened.

I got an OB who just happened to be breastfeeding friendly.  She recommended a Pedia who happened to be part of LATCH and hubby’s classmate in medicine, among others.  He chose the Pedia.

And while it was NOT smooth sailing all the way (with people doubting my ability and the quality of my milk), he held on with me, doing his best to convince others that OUR choice was totally right.

It was the hubby who –

• didn’t question why I had to buy an expensive (for us) manual pump, then later an even more expensive electric pump.  With my second baby, we bought another even more expensive (but more efficient) pump and he was even the one who sourced it!
• went out and bought me a breastfeeding pillow when I asked for it.  During that time, it was pretty expensive and it was not as easy to find one!
• went out and bought breast pads for me whenever I ran out.  Online stores were not a common sight then.
• defended me and breastfeeding when people started questioning my son’s lack of chubbiness.  Of course, our pediatrician was a great help in reassuring us that it was ok.
• unquestioningly accepted that our conjugal bed is now a family bed…because breastfeeding is so much easier when we co-sleep.
• learned to prepare expressed breast milk for those times that I had to be away.
• went out to buy ice to preserve our precious stash of expressed breastmilk when Typhoon Millenyo (with our first baby) and Typhoon Frank (with our second baby) caused long blackouts in our area.  It wasn’t easy to look for ice during those times, I tell ya!
• played with my kid when he was wide awake at 3am so that I can get more sleep.

Again, most importantly, he was the one to inform the other people that I’m breastfeeding whenever they look at me funny or they question it.

It doesn’t matter if other people won’t be convinced about my decision to breastfeed.  The most important thing that matters is that I got my husband to be on the same boat as me when I decide to go on this journey of breastfeeding.  After all, the child is OURS.  And WE are trying to give our kid the best nutrition there is to be found.

Oh, and the most important factor?  My own determination to make this work.  All the support my husband could give would be for nothing if I gave up easily.

Apples  and Dumplings: Communication and First Time Breastfeeders
Dainty Mom:  Creating a Pro-Breastfeeding Culture in the Family
Truly Rich Mom: Truly Rich Tips (esp. for moms) – How to get others to support you in breastfeeding
Mec as Mom:Pre-Natal Pediatric Consultations Are Necessary
Onbreastfeeding: Say it, claim it, get support!
EthanMama:  My Best Breastfeeding Support System — My Husband
TouringKitty: Communication through Breastfeeding
Escie’s World: Ready, Get Set, Go! for Breastfeeding
J and the Three Boys: I’m breastfeeding, and that’s that.
Nanaystrip: BreasTALK : Text, Retweet, Share your Knowledge and Experiences
PenpenEspie: A Shout out to My Breastfeeding
BuddiesProject Blog byKate: Talk and Make It Happen
NewbieWife: How I Taught the Family to “Breastfeed”
Chronicles of a Nursing Mom: Effective Communication Bucket List
Go Help Yourself: “6 persuasion tips for breastfeeding moms and advocates”
Mommy Kuwentos: How I recruited my top breastfeeding buddies
Handy Mommy

2.  nursing clothes

It is such a nice. nice time to be a breastfeeding mom as there are so many pretty breastfeeding clothes available nowadays. These clothes not only have hidden access points for your baby to reach your breasts easily, they also flatter your new shape, accentuating your much larger breasts and camouflaging your post pregnancy tummy.

I asked Cher of http://hipmomsandbabies.multiply.com to modify this top. I got a custom made ankle length gown just right for a wedding.

I used this dress during my daughter's baptism.

But a lot of these new breastfeeding outfits tend to be on the pricey side, so it really is not practical to have too many of them.

You can, choose a design that would look good even after you wean off your baby from your breasts, to get more mileage out of them.

Or you can use any loose top or shirt. I found that if you lift your shirt and put your baby to your breast, it actually doesn’t show your breast, since your baby’s head would cover it anyway. Try it in front of the mirror!

If you’re concerned about exposing some part of your tummy or back, you can wear a tube underneath your shirt so you’re still well covered.

Or use a nursing cover or any substitute (see next topic).

The point is, NOT having nice breastfeeding clothes is really not an excuse to not breastfeed. Where there’s a will, there’s always a way.

3. nursing cover

I think nursing covers are a great innovation and I’m glad to see many of them. I used one by Bebe Au Lait which I received as a gift. Locally, there are now several options for nursing covers which caters to the Filipino mom’s modesty.

There weren’t many of these when I gave birth to my eldest back in 2005 (or maybe I didn’t know where to look). But now, there are so many! Nursing bibs, bonchos, even hats!

But remember that these nursing covers are actually recent innovations. Anything that will cover breastfeeding be used as a cover. I used to use gauze lampins, receiving blankets, ordinary shawls, jackets…I’ve heard of moms who used their swim cover ups when at the beach or pool, or even a sarong. Use your creativity and whatever you already have in your closet! It may be a challenge keeping the cover up (easier with the new innovative coverups), but that’s part of the fun!

Images from:  http://fabnaima.multiply.com , http://hipmomsandbabies.multiply.com, http://plumeshop.multiply.com

Watch out for part 3 onwards of this series!

(This is part 1 of a series)

I would like to list breastfeeding both my kids as one of my mommy achievements.  Well, see, it wasn’t really easy, and you have people who would naysay your efforts.  But I’m so proud to say that I breastfed my eldest until he was nearly 2 years old (had to stop then because I was undergoing chemotherapy) and currently, I’m still breastfeeding my youngest, who will turn 2 next month!

I believe the true ESSENTIALS of successful breastfeeding are a mom who’s determined to do so, a baby and support from everybody who’s close to the mom (especially the dad!).

However, there are now plenty of things out there which make life easier for the breastfeeding mom.  While these are not truly essentials in the strictest sense of the word, I would say that these are must-haves for a smooth breastfeeding experience.

Moms who can’t afford these products though do not need to fret, because there are certainly cheaper alternatives, so you can still make your breastfeeding journey easier without breaking the bank!Ok, now here’s my list of the top ten nursing must-haves…with their cheaper alternatives:

Image from http://fabnaima.multiply.com

1.  nursing bras

By the time you become pregnant, your pre-pregnancy bras would have already felt tight.  Some smart mommies, instead of buying maternity bras, simply buy nursing bras in a larger size in order to get more mileage out of them.  There are now a lot in the market, but not all of them are as easily found as the regular bras.  Rustan’s has them, and online shops like Mama Baby Love carry a lot of them too, in various designs, almost all of them flattering and all of them with features which make nursing easier, while still flattering you and making you stylish under your clothes.

But for moms who are either hesitant or just do not have the budget to buy nursing bras, you don’t really NEED  to buy them.

Image from http://luckydollstore.multiply.com

What I did when I was pregnant with my second kid (experience does make you wiser — and more frugal too, since I realized that we now had to provide for TWO kids instead of ONE, when we were more all out in our spendings.), I bought a few of those cotton tube bras found in the Greenhills tiangge for about 100-120 pesos each (back in 2008-2009).  They are one sized and “grew with me” when I progressed further in my pregnancy and served its purpose of being a nursing bra.  I just pushed the bra up when I needed to nurse!

Of course, the drawback of this tipid tip is that these bras do not look as nice as the usual breastfeeding bras.  They don’t flatter you as well.  But if you’re not going out, these would already suffice.

It’s also ok to go braless (gasp!) when you’re home, but then you’d have to have a few extra Tshirts ready because believe me, they WILL get wet when the milk comes in!

Note:  Products shown are not paid endorsements

Part 2:  nursing clothes (Updated May 10, 2011)

Please check out the other carnival entries!
Top Ten Breastfeeding Partners
Ten Things a Handy Mommy Can Do While Breastfeeding
Ten Life Altering Moments of a New Breastfeeding Mom
Nurturing Rafael: A Breastfeeding Mother’s Top 10 List
Ten Things I Now Know About Breastfeeding Because I Breastfed
Things a Handy Mommy Can Do While Breastfeeding
10 Ways to Cheer Up a Breastfeeding Wife
Aria’s Habits While Breastfeeding
Top Ten Tips for Pumping and Working Moms
Our Breastfeeding Library
My Top 10 Favorite Foods for the Breastfeeding Mom
10 Reasons I Still Breastfeed, Even As a Low-supply Mom
Nursing must haves…and cheaper alternatives (1/10)

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There were quite a few things that I really wanted to be “when I grow up”.

I wanted to be a doctor.  Check, I was able to get a medical education in one of the nation’s top medical schools, pass the board exams, trained and qualified to be an ophthalmologist.

I wanted to be a wife.  Check.  I got married to the man I love and who I know loves me.

I wanted to be a mom.  Check.  I got pregnant a month after the wedding.

But then I quickly realized that having a baby and BEING a mom is really not the same.

Being a mom means making decisions that would affect the well being of your baby.  One of those decisions was what to feed your baby.

I chose to breastfeed. And it was a decision I was so proud of.

I chose to breastfeed despite all the pain I had at the start, when E and I were still getting the hang of breastfeeding.  The engorgement, the cracked and bleeding nipples, the pain (I know, I’m repeating myself here), not to mention the times that you feel that you’re so tied down especially when there’s a growth spurt, when the baby doesn’t seem to want to unlatch at all!  But I plodded on, believing that this is the best food for my baby and this is the only time that I get to give it to him.

I chose to breastfeed despite advise to the contrary by well meaning friends and relatives, especially when my baby wasn’t close to being the chubby baby that is the ideal of TV commercials here in the Philippines.  My baby would be the lampayatot baby, the one who didn’t drink the right milk, take the right vitamins…you get the picture.  But I still believed that I was giving him much more than what others give me credit for.  The right nutrients in the right amount, at the right temperature and other things besides, like IgA antibodies, hugs, cuddles and the comfort of having mommy near.

I chose to give breast milk while I was working, even if breast pumps were expensive and it’s such a hassle to have to pump every so often, and I had to lug around the pump everywhere I go.

I chose to do so because I felt I was giving my baby the best.  It meant a lot of personal sacrifices, but when I see my baby thrive with only my milk (for the first 6 months of his life anyway, before we introduced solids), I know I made the right choice.

I realized then that breastfeeding has made me a better mom, a mom who can make the difficult decisions and have the willpower to continue with that decision if I felt that I made the right one.  Sure, I’ve probably done it before, when I decided to go into medicine and when I decided to get married.  But this time, I’m doing the decision that would not only affect me, but also affect a little baby who can’t decide for himself and would depend on his parents to make all the right choices.

I know it was the first of many decisions I had to make for my child…and I better make the right ones!

And breastfeeding IS the right choice for me.

So, I made that choice again the second time, when R was born.

And I know that I will always make difficult choices for my kids throughout the time that they are still dependent on me.  I know that I won’t always make the popular choices, but I will always decide on what seems to be best, stick with it (unless it turns out to be wrong, then I will change it).

I really “grew up”.  As a mom.  As a woman.  I realize that making crucial choices, one of which is what to feed your newborn, entails strength, confidence and decisiveness, which is a hallmark of a mature adult.  I think I am one now.

Image was first published in the 1^st (1876–1899), 2^nd (1904–1926) or 3^rd (1923–1937) edition of Nordisk familjebok. The copyrights for that book have expired and this image is in the public domain.

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Please take the time to read the other carnival entries.

Boy, was I wrong!

More on it here.

Secondly, our kids.  We’re now having pleasantly cool weather which I’m enjoying.  But our kids had bouts of viral infections.  My girl even had to be brought to the hospital when she had benign febrile convulsions.  Thank goodness it’s over now but definitely not a good start to the year.  (from this post)

… I had no idea that it’s not over yet.  The end of that particular week, my son had another bout of infection, this time it was acute tonsillopharyngitis.  When he got better, R got fever and colds again.  Her last fever bout occurred yesterday morning, and it’s less than 38 degrees.  Since then, she hasn’t had any fever.  I’m keeping my fingers and toes crossed that it really is the last of it.

That means that Valentine’s day is pretty much not a couple day but a family day again.  Well, we were really not much into celebrating Valentine’s day, what with all the expenses associated with it. We see no reason why we should spend for overpriced flowers, have dinner in crowded restaurants on that particular day.

While romance brought us together, what keeps us together is commitment.  And while it may not be as exciting as the first flutter of romance, it’s immensely more satisfying.

And although romance may not be as obvious as when we first got together, it’s always there. We try to make time for each other, even if it’s just a late night DVD movie session or take out fast food dinner in the car while driving home for work. For while we now have other priorities that, most of the time, takes precedence over romance, a little time reconnecting with just each other helps keeps the romance alive, even if we have to sneak it in once in a while.

Pina Colada

(Rupert Holmes)

I was tired of my lady
We’d been together too long
Like a worn-out recording
Of a favorite song
So while she lay there sleeping
I read the paper in bed
And in the personal columns
There was this letter I read

“If you like Pina Coladas
And getting caught in the rain
If you’re not into yoga
If you have half a brain
If you’d like making love at midnight
In the dunes on the Cape
Then I’m the love that you’ve looked for
Write to me and escape.”

I didn’t think about my lady
I know that sounds kind of mean
But me and my old lady
Have fallen into the same old dull routine
So I wrote to the paper
Took out a personal ad
And though I’m nobody’s poet
I thought it wasn’t half bad

“Yes I like Pina Coladas
And getting caught in the rain
I’m not much into health food
I am into champagne
I’ve got to meet you by tomorrow noon
And cut through all this red-tape
At a bar called O’Malley’s
Where we’ll plan our escape.”

So I waited with high hopes
And she walked in the place
I knew her smile in an instant
I knew the curve of her face
It was my own lovely lady
And she said, “Oh it’s you.”
Then we laughed for a moment
And I said, “I never knew.”

That you like Pina Coladas
Getting caught in the rain
And the feel of the ocean
And the taste of champagne
If you’d like making love at midnight
In the dunes of the Cape
You’re the lady I’ve looked for
Come with me and escape

repeat chorus twice and fade out

But in spite of my over-all optimism, I just can’t help feeling a bit jittery.

First, finances.  December is really the month of big spending…and limited income.  You see, as self employed private doctors, we only get income when we have patients, and of course, there are less patients in December.  And, of course, we want to spend time with family, have Christmas dinners and vacations, which means even less time at clinics = less income.  Add the fact that we are spending a lot for gifts.  I have nothing against gift giving coz this is the chance for us to show people our appreciation.  But gift giving means spending for gifts.  Which combined with the limited income = depletion of the family kitty.  And in January some bills and must pays keep creeping in.  Sigh.  Double sigh.

Secondly, our kids.  We’re now having pleasantly cool weather which I’m enjoying.  But our kids had bouts of viral infections.  My girl even had to be brought to the hospital when she had benign febrile convulsions.  Thank goodness it’s over now but definitely not a good start to the year.

Thirdly, our career.  There are so many changes coming that we really do not know what’s ahead.  There are now more and more HMO patients and some HMOs, instead of increasing the fees that they pay to doctors, are actually decreasing it.  No wonder established doctors shun HMOs.

Fourthly, my/our desire to finally have a place of our own.  I want so much to have my own “kingdom” so to speak.  It’s rather limiting not to be able to make your own decisions regarding your own self and your own family and having things done your own way.  But, it seems that we have to postpone that too.  For now, the best thing for our kids is to stay put, where a loving grandma can and will watch them when we are away, especially when they are sick.  And hired help does not have the same sort of loving care that blood relations do.

Well, January is now over.  Maybe February, with the beginning of the Chinese New Year, will be a better month for us?  I certainly hope so.